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TALES FROM OUR FAMILY HOLIDAY LETTER

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Greetings from the Quinn Family!

We hope your year has proven to be as bountiful and inexplicably unpredictable as ours.  We’ve added a new addition to the grab-bag of personalities in our home.  Little Man D will be TWO months this December!  My, my how time flies…it flies like the pee that rockets out of him directly into my hair during diaper changes.  Nursing is going well; if you consider “well” mastering the art of doing it with one arm while racing toy cars around the living room and shoving Pizza Bites in my mouth with the other. This act makes me look like a circus freak show so I may have stumbled onto a new career.  I took him to Target the other day and forgot the pacifier.  Thinking quickly I raced to the back of the store while he screamed, ripped open a new pacifier package, and shoved it in his mouth.  I’m reeealllly hoping he doesn’t get Asian Bird Flu from not steaming the nipple first.  We’ll have to keep you posted on that front.  I should also mention that I forgot to buy the pacifier so I am now a wanted felon in the state of Massachusetts.

Our eldest has taken a very strong liking to TuTu’s.  We don’t leave the house without one most days.  Both of us.  I’ve really mastered the art of tucking organza under my coat so I don’t look like a total nut bag (fail).  I lovingly thank her Grandmother for introducing her to the TuTu each and every day. I’ve especially been enjoying the battle with the carseat buckle over lumps and lumps of tulle.  In other news, she has somehow managed to outsmart the pacifier fairy.  I’m still trying to figure out how that happened since I am, in fact, the pacifier fairy.

We took the kids to go see Santa in our local urban neighborhood.  When we got there we witnessed a drunk homeless man trying to feel up Mrs. Clause while she sang Jingle Bells in a microphone to an audience of one.  I would call our baby’s first encounter with the Clause family a wild success.  We also took our toddler to see the Urban Nutcracker and are pleased to announce she now has a new found interest in Krumping.  We look forward to our Florida trip every year where I will assemble an arts and crafts kit for the plane and then knock myself unconscious with it.

I’m still working from home.  Mostly I put all of my client calls on mute and bribe my toddler to please stop shouting “GET OFF THE PHONE!” with candy canes.  It’s also wonderful that I get to take my baby to some of my meetings with me.  Especially when I forget my Hooter Hider and have to nurse in a public restroom.  On a toilet.   I tried Almond Extract for the first time while trying to bake cookies for school.  I highly recommend it if you are looking for a quick buzz and a hankering to put First Aid cream on your tongue.  Hubby is involved in not one but three Fantasy Football leagues.  I am so very proud of his dedication to computer sports.  He would like me to mention here that he is in the finals for the second straight year.  Go Hubby and your League of Dorks!

On that front, marriage is wonderful.  We now say “Good Luck” to each other instead of “Good Night.”   The other day I asked him if it was possible for infant boys to get morning wood and he countered with how strange it is that breast milk goes in all the same but comes out pee AND poop.  Our conversations are as high-brow as ever.

My personal goals for 2014 include: shaving my legs, taking less than 3 hours to go anywhere, getting more sleep so my toddler stops telling me I have boo-boo’s in my eyes, and to ultimately refrain from drinking hot coffee and peeing while I carry my precious baby in the Bjorn.

Happy Holidays to your family from ours!

The Quinns

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