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TALES FROM THE 2ND TRIMESTER: PEEING & OTHER MUSINGS

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  • I feel like I’m wearing a big sign around my neck that says:

Yup, I had sex.   

  • When I cough, I pee.  I cough a lot. 
  • I pee all day and all night.  Sometimes I even make it to the toilet.  
  • I find it super annoying when skinny people talk about how small they are.  Here’s a tip, don’t sit across from me when I’m 6 months pregnant, mowing a hamburger, and proceed to explain how you couldn’t lift something because you are so tiny.  I may eat you.  
  • Damn you, night-time leg cramps.  Pregnancy induced charley horses?  As if the constant peeing wasn’t keeping me up all night.   (Please don’t write a comment about eating more bananas.  Tried it.  These horses don’t like bananas apparently.)      
  • I still miss normal conversation.  I know I’m obviously pregnant but I’ve got a lot of other things going on and I would love to talk to you about those things, too.  (Like the new website for my yoga studio being finished after 90 years www.charlestownyoga.com)
  • People keep giving me a doe-eyed look and asking “Ohhhh, is Miss P. getting soooo excited!?”  Not so much.  In fact she hits my belly daily and demands “no baby Mommy!” You can’t blame the kid, he’s already cramping her style: during story-time she can barely fit on my lap.  
  • I’m a huge fan of hanky panky underwear; it’s the only brand I’ll buy.  (http://www.hankypanky.com)  But apparently they weren’t thinking about the 2nd trimester pregnant crowd when writing “One Size Fits All” on their thongs.
  • My hair, skin and nails are looking fabulous.  I can say that because my ass is getting huge.  
  • (PS: My book will be out soon! Another thing I would love to chat with you about, other than my bulging body.)  
  • I cannot consume enough liquids.  Yes, I realize this is directly tied to my peeing issue. 
  • 2nd trimester baby movements are like little earthquakes in your body; you never know when they are going to hit.  It’s thrilling and intimate; a private little exchange between you and your baby.  A true reminder that you are never fully alone.  

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