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TALES FROM THE TOILET: Pregnancy #1 vs. Pregnancy #2

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Nothing quite says pregnancy like praying to the porcelain God for three months.  Unfortunately, this was the only consistency I was granted between the first pregnancy and the second:

Pregnancy #1 – I didn’t look pregnant until I was 6 months.

Pregnancy #2 – I was wearing maternity clothes at 2 months.

Pregnancy #1 – Every moment of every day I thought about being pregnant.  It was the first thing I thought of when I woke up.  I dreamed about it at night.  It consumed my conversations; it consumed my mind.

Pregnancy #2 – Yesterday someone asked me how “far along” I was.  I looked up from struggling to pull my toddler’s shirt over her belly for the 5th time and replied, “with what?”

Pregnancy #1 – I scoured every website for maternity information. I tracked my baby’s progress day by day on BabyCenter.  I researched every baby-related product under the sun.

Pregnancy #2 – When I get the rare chance to a)sit and b) “browse” the internet – it’s usually to look for bananas and milk on Peapod.com

Pregnancy #1 – In one of my time-consuming completely unnecessary internet searches I read that you should always lie on your left side when going to bed because it provides the best blood flow to your baby.

Pregnancy #2 – I go to sleep (and wake up) face down every night.

Pregnancy #1 – I stayed fit.  I went on fast walks.  I did the elliptical. I took yoga almost every morning.

Pregnancy #2 – I walk up two flights of stairs carrying my 30lb. two year old and call it exercise.

Pregnancy #1 – I stayed hydrated.  I had a water bottle with me at all times.

Pregnancy #2 – This morning I was lucky enough to steal a swig out of my kid’s sippy cup.

Pregnancy #1 – I took naps.  They were rejuvenating and peaceful; taken in a quiet house.

Pregnancy #2 – Hah! Yea, Right.

Pregnancy #1: No bladder issues to speak of.

Pregnancy #2: I pee when I cough, laugh too hard, and sneeze.

Pregnancy #1 – I judged the crap out of moms who gave their kids juice, put them in front of an iPad at meal times, and stood there helpless while their child melted down in a supermarket.

Pregnancy #2.  My toddler drinks juice.  She knows how to work an iPad herself.  And when she goes boneless at Stop N Shop, screaming at the top of her lungs, I can’t help but smirk…at myself.

 

 

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