Maybe you’re like me and Being Mommy is proving to be the hardest job you’ve ever had. (And that coming from someone who used to work for Martha Stewart herself.) Monday was one of those days where nothing went right. I think I may have even banged my fist into a wall at one point. (Yes that brand of “not going well.”) I think it’s on those days that you realize how hard this job can be. It’s hard because you never know if what your doing is right. You know enough to realize every kid has and needs a different “right” but what’s your kids “right?” It’s hard because at the end of the day your pat on the back from the boss might be a “I don’t love you!” from a tired toddler. It’s hard because the job can engulf you in more questions and guilt than a Catholic Reconciliation. Did I leave her in the crib too long after she woke up? Is there too much sugar in that? Did I give her enough vegetables today? Has he been in the carseat too long? Is she watching too much TV? I probably should have potty trained her by now. Did I hold him as much as I held her? Wait did I hold her too much? Even if you thought you were having an amazing day/week/moment with your child you still might not know if they feel the same way. Absolute rulers unrestrained by law don’t tend to give you that type of feedback.
After my mini meltdown on Monday I decided to get out of the house and go see one of my favorite people. She has a daughter the same age as Miss P. and we used to hang in the city almost every week together. We actually had the same due date with our second babies but she was expecting twins and had to move out to the ‘burbs. I hadn’t seen her since September. Seeing her helped in two ways. First, it gave me perspective (2 infants + 1 toddler is a LOT harder than 1 toddler + 1 infant) and second, the feeling of camaraderie. There is something so validating to hear another mother say she feels the same way. It’s the reason I started this blog.
SO here are the things I know:
I love these kids more than life itself.
I’m learning every day, making mistakes and celebrating small victories.
I’m on a giant roller coaster that throws you up and down hills and sideways through tunnels. I need to hold on tight and enjoy the ride.
The juice is worth the squeeze.
Later that night I fell upon this quote in a Google search for something unrelated. I believe I was meant to see it:
“I think the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.”
― C. JoyBell C.
So is this the hardest job I’ve ever had? Absolutely. But I think as long as I’m working hard at it…I’m probably doing something right.