At the approach of every New Year I start thinking about setting resolutions for myself and every New Year I get anxious over the thought of them. I know myself: I’ll set them, follow them until January 7th, then get frustrated because I don’t stick with them. The definition of resolution is a firm decision to do or not do something. Even that sounds scary and unattainable to me (and ask The D Man how hard it is to pronounce.) This year I’m going to try something different. This year instead of resolutions I’m going to write down some #goals. The definition of a goal as it pertains to this subject is: the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. Doesn’t that just sound nicer?
Goal number 1: Be nicer to yourself.
I want to be the best parent I can be. Who doesn’t? I think part of that is setting and being a good example. We are the teachers. They emulate us even when we think they aren’t looking.
Sometimes when I pick my head up from being buried in my computer or take a good hard look at the massive responsibility that is raising children I get very overwhelmed. And when I’m overwhelmed I start to question myself. And when I start to question myself the next step is usually backwards down a personal shame spiral. I want to educate my kid’s that this is not a healthy pattern. It’s probably not going to change over night but how about we start small and…
Goal number 2: Replace a negative thought with a positive one.
Sometimes I wonder if we give birth to judgement when those tiny babies come out of us. It’s very easy to pass judgement on other Moms if they aren’t doing it exactly like you did it. (I can’t help but wonder if mom-guilt is really just a result of mom-shaming?) We’ve probably all been guilty of this at one time or another. One of my favorite commercials is a bunch of parents standing around judging each other but then they all stop and run after a wayward stroller carrying a baby. The message? We all want what’s best for our kids.
Goal number 3: Nurture the village.
I want to be more present. And I believe part of being really present can actually mean going away. Mental breaks help me become more present when I’m with my family and I appreciate the time that I do have with them more. When I’m “away” they are also learning a valuable lesson that they are okay on their own sometimes, too.
Goal number 4: Go away; be more present.
I never had to worry about the big things growing up which ultimately gave me the confidence to try new things. I was free to explore life in a more creative and expressive way. I want to give that same experience back to my own kids. So in addition to the education I’m trying to give back to them with my own personal 2016 goals, I want to make sure to secure their formal education, too. One of the “big things” we’ll take off our kid’s list of things to worry about is paying for a college education. No questions asked. And since I know that contributing more to their 529 college savings plan is the only way we’ll be able to do this (even if we put away what we would spend on just one latte a week)…
Goal number 5: Less Starbucks. More Savings.
Do you have any 2016 #Goals? Share them in the comments section below.
I partnered with Fidelity and MEFA on this post.