I’ll admit it, I put you in the corner when you arrived. You sat there for days and I’d glance over at you from time to time, denying the inevitable. It wasn’t anything you did or said. You looked approachable. It’s just that you’re a mop and this may sound harsh but – you’re not really supposed to be loved. The day came when I could no longer resist the call of caked-on blueberries and smashed-in peas. I begrudgingly walked over and opened your box. Much to my surprise you didn’t come in 10 annoying little pieces, you were pretty much whole. (Your Mother must have had easy labor?) What’s more, you came with a built-in bucket for hands-free wringing which meant my labor was going to be minimal, too. I really appreciated you thinking of of me like that. Even though your head felt soft (is that microfiber you’re wearing?) you took on our toughest stains like you were born to do this. I guess you really were. This may be a sensitive topic, but your triangular shaped head really helped us get the hard-to-reach spots. You didn’t even make me bend down or get my hands dirty. You looked so high-quality and unbreakable in fact that I decided to let my kids try it out. What’s that you say? No, I was not trying to get them to do my dirty work. I thought we were working on becoming friends, hold your tongue. Even though it looks like they are posing for the camera here, they are actually grimacing and fighting over who gets to handle you first.
Speaking of handles, I didn’t even mind that my daughter wore a Lily Pulitzer dress to use you. What with your adjustable handle, she stayed far away from the gross stuff.
Your fancy foot pedal was our favorite part. How did you learn to control your level of moisture like that? I could really use that technique this Summer. Maybe I’ll try spinning as gracefully as you do. Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I placed you in a category with all of the other mops; it wasn’t fair to stereotype like that. You truly are a (triangular) head above the rest. Love, MIM
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