For the record, I never let my kids say the word hate.
8. Motivational Quotes on Instagram. I too can search Pinterest if I’m looking for a motivation quote. I mean I know God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle, and everything happens for a reason, and for sure what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger but like…can we just stick to cute kids, adorable puppies, fancy clothes, and funny Memes in 2019? Thankful for every moment.
7. The Peleton. Do you know how many people have told me I have to get a Peleton? But I hate spinning, why do I need a Peleton? If I get a Peleton do I have to post annoying updates on how I did on said Peleton? Oh, and when I asked you how you lost so much weight, did you have to say The Peleton?? I should probably get a Peleton.
6. Bitcoin. Mostly because I still have no idea what a Bitcoin is. (Related: Is it “a Bitcoin” or “the Bitcoin” Is “Bitcoin” capitalized?)
5. Instagram & FB Ads that look legit but end up being a scam.. Do you know how many drunk late night purchases I have made on Instagram this year? Far too many. And every time those purchases arrived in the mail they would come directly from an address like Rm 155 No. 1 Building No. 10 East road, Jiuxianqiao, Chaoyang District, Beijing China with no return information or package slip. I only received ONE dress that I could wear more than ONE time from these purchases. They all fell apart 4 hours after wearing them. The worst scam was my “ride-on pony” purchase for $40.
What is this, a ride-on for Minions? Is Stuart going to jump out of this unicorn’s back, start doing the Floss then yell “JUST KIDDING! Here’s what you really bought!”? Maybe they think the fact that it came with a plastic suction cup hanging off its disgusting mane will make up for the fact that my kids can’t actually ride on top of it. Oh I see you, Manager of Room 155, and this isn’t over yet.
4. Food Bloggers. I hate to hate on a fellow profession but I also hate scrolling through someone’s life long plan to harvest organic root vegetables in a future backyard subsistence farm just to get the ingredients for an egg bake.
3. Spam emails. On the morning of January 1st I woke up and “unsubscribed” from over 25 different newsletters. I don’t need to know about a Janie and Jack sale every. single. day. I wish these companies would realize that less is more. Like my newsletter for example, which you all read when it comes out only occasionally, right? Right!?
2. “Living Your Best Life.” I totally appreciate the epic sale you scored at Walmart but this term should really only be used if you are sailing partially naked on P.Diddy’s yacht outside of Bali. (Alright fine, if the epic sale was for a ride-on pony you bought to avoid an Instagram Ad scam then you do you.)
1. Haters and Hypocrites. Related: Don’t let your kids say “hate” ok?
What’d you hate in 2018?