“I am Wonder Woman. I wonder where I left my keys…and where I put my purse.”
Mommy Brain starts when you become pregnant and gets exponentially worse with each passing day. A baby exits your body and takes with it a pile of brain cells. In my world, Mommy Brain manifests itself in many ways but lately it’s been in the form of messing up everyday idioms, blacking out, and basically forgetting how to talk like a normal adult. It’s like I’ve lost the capacity to carry on a conversation while caring for my young.
The other day I was on a conference call with a company I’ve been doing work for. I wanted to make sure I covered everything before The D Man woke up and started my part of the conversation with “OK, let’s talk about the large animal in the room.” What? It’s an elephant, Kristin. The large animal in the room you want to talk about is an ELEPHANT. Commence awkward pause.
I was out with a couple of friends the other night, slightly engaged in a debate about social media (Or was it politics? I don’t remember) and wanted to seem relevant. So I threw out a point and finished it with: “But honestly, I have no dogs in the race.” You have no dogs in the RACE? Pretty sure it’s fight, genius. You have no dogs in the fight. Commence sympathetic stares.
And then there are the times where I will just conk out mid conversation. Like my mind will draw a complete blank and I can’t think of the right word to use. I can feel the word forming in my mouth but it will simply refuse to present itself. Oh, and the blackouts. So often I’m finding people saying things to me like “Remember yesterday? When we talked about A,B&C and then I got down and showed you how 1,2&3 worked?” Yes, totally remember… (nothing at all). It’s like little sections of your memory get sucked away once you rear children.
Being a parent is tiring and hard work. Maybe our brains just don’t have the capacity to devote any more time to anything else. And let’s face it…as long as we are running around like a duck with it’s head cut off, we’re probably always going to be up a creek with no boat.