Mommyhood

How To Fail At Kindergarten Registration Part 2: A MIM Guide

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  1. When asked to provide Proof Of Address, present a Victoria’s Secret bill because it was the only thing you can find that morning. Make a joke.  Receive no laughs.
  2. Ask to borrow a pen.  Return said pen busted with ink dripping down your fingers. Apologize and smile. Receive no laughs.
  3. When signing and dating the bottom of 10 different forms, make sure to do it with the year 2018 when it’s January 2019.
  4. When asked who your child’s Doctor or Dentist is by name, have no clue.
  5. Leave the section called “Anything else you’d like us to know?” blank.  Stare back with an equally blank expression when asked, “Seriously? You didn’t want to write anything here?”
  6. Turn your house upside down to find the original birth certificate needed for your child to register for Kindergarten.
  7. Do not find the birth certificate. Beg forgiveness. Receive no laughs.
  8. In your search, find not 1 but 2 birth certificates for A Build-A-Bear you made with your child in 2013. Pat yourself on the back.
  9. Show up to register with no coat on in 25 degree weather to witness a 40 person line. Go home.
  10. Google: Is it a state requirement to go to Kindergarten?

-MIM-

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