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PARENTING: WHERE THE GOOGLE-EYED MONSTER REARS ITS UGLY HEAD

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One of the things I didn’t expect when becoming a new parent was the amount of hours I would spend Googling the shit out of everything and anything that relates to pregnancy, birth, and babies.  I’d also like to admit I’m a hypocrite here because one of the top pieces of advice I shell out to new moms is to stay off the internet.  It can be toxic and frightening.  But sometimes you just feel strange about asking another human being when you’re nipples will stop bleeding.  Here’s just a smattering of ridiculous search terms I’ve put into Google since first becoming pregnant in 2010.  And yes, you can Google your own Google Searches from that long ago.  (Why hello there, Big Brother technology.)


 

  • Can you feel anything the moment you get pregnant
  • Why is my leg twitching during pregnancy
  • Black scabs on nipples during pregnancy
  • Babies hiccupping constantly, third trimester
  • Why is there yellow crust on newborns eyelids
  • Why does my baby’s bellybutton smell like fish
  • Liking the smell of your infant’s poop
  • When does hair stop falling out after giving birth
  • When will I feel like having sex again after birth
  • The sit and spin (It’s a child’s toy, people.)
  • My nipples are cracked
  • What is right ratio of hind milk to fore milk
  • What is hind and fore milk
  • Old milk in baby’s neck folds
  • Can you give your baby shingles
  • Can an internal exam increase dilation
  • Do second babies come faster
  • Does my infant have pink eye
  • Does my infant have hand, foot, mouth disease
  • Why don’t infants shed tears when crying
  • Can you give baby a hickey
  • Why is my baby sleeping all of the time
  • Why does my baby never sleep
  • Why does the sleep giraffe no longer come with a tail
  • Why does my baby have an erection
  • Why do baby balls shrink
  • My baby’s poop is green
  • My baby’s poop is yellow
  • My baby’s diaper is full of sand
  • Why do babies like to eat sand

Google results

Do you have a funny/ridiculous/crazy thing you’ve Googled when it comes to pregnancy, delivery, babies or parenting?   Head on over to our FACEBOOK page and write a comment under this post or simply tag a friend.  Everyone who comments before Thursday May 28th at 1:3opm will receive a code for a FREE appointment with MAVEN – the first DIGITAL clinic for women:

“You have 10 places to be and a waiting room is not one of them.” Introducing Maven, a digital clinic for women that helps you find a medical professional who meets your specific needs (OBGYN, Lactation Consultants, and other women’s health specialists) then connects you through video chat.  

Google the weather, not your symptoms.

maven

Get the APP, here

-MIM-
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