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Mommyhood

POSITIVELY PREGNANT.

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Positivity, folks.  That’s what we all need in 2017!

Admittedly, I don’t love sharing my body.  Not only is it uncomfortable, it outright terrifies me.  It’s hard to enjoy a “temple” when constantly hearing how everything is potentially harmful to a growing fetus.  (Can I seriously not drink this organic Kombucha tea without consulting my Doctor? Will using my lash-lengthening goop give my baby a 3rd arm? Wait am I not supposed to sleep on my left side? Or was it my right side? Is this Brie I ingested straight off the unpasteurized boat from France??)

But there are some good things about being pregnant other than the obvious “you get an amazing new life at the end of it,” says me. And since it’s a new year I’m trying to focus on the positive.  Like for example… although I really miss red wine in copious amounts I’ve also really been enjoying my hangover-free weekends. (And Mondays. And Tuesdays. Wednesdays. Thursdays.)  We were flying home from Florida on New Year’s Day and I noticed a lot of people literally and physically hung-over in their seats.  They were fidgeting and sweating and had all the mannerisms that accompany too much alcohol coupled with cramped spaces and shitty air.  I was positive I didn’t miss that feeling.  And despite the fact I could have used a seatbelt extender I was feeling pretty damn good myself.


Constant peeing is an issue for me in pregnancy.  It doesn’t matter if I drink a half a glass of water or an entire water bottle it will take me 10-15 trips to the bathroom to empty my bladder completely.  (Don’t get me started on what sneezing and coughing does to me.)  I’m going to dig deep and share a little TMI to make way for something positive here.  I find that standing in the shower while pregnant my body lets me pee at will.  It’s quite blissful.  A shower is the only time my bladder feels completely and positively empty.


You know what you never really have to do when you’re pregnant? Apologize.  You’ve got a built-in excuse for everything.  Didn’t take out the trash? Can’t stand the smell – Pregnant. Didn’t buy groceries? Can’t carry them in the house – Pregnant. Can’t exercise? Too tired – Pregnant. Forgot to pick up the kids? Brain is also – Pregnant.  I’m positive we could come up with a pregnancy excuse for just about anything you don’t want to do or forgot to do.  You could literally burst into tears or attempt to kill someone at any given moment and everyone would be like “It’s ok – she pregnant.”


We just got back from vacation where I was surrounded by my family and kids at all times.  Back at work, alone in my house, with the rain pouring down, I was feeling sad and lonely.  In a particular sullen part of my day while pile driving through emails

I felt an upper cut to my rib cage and was reminded that I was positively not alone. You’re never really alone when you’re pregnant.

And as I sit here again shoving Cheetos in my mouth without a future to plan to rid the extra calories from my hips I can’t help but think how nice it is to be able to shove Cheetos in my mouth without a future plan to rid the extra calories from my hips.  Let’s add eating with reckless abandon to the positive side of pregnancy, shall we?

Also, do you know what you positively CAN’T do while pregnant? Suck in your gut.

On that note I’ll leave you with two words associated with pregnancy that have always left a positive impression in my mind –

Stretchy. Pants.

 

Happy 2017, MIM’ers!

 

 

 

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