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5 Things People Never Talk About Post Childbirth 

Disclaimer #1: Do not read this if you’d like to stay blissfully unaware.  

Disclaimer #2: These things do not happen to everyone.

1. Belly Jiggle.  Not the “I ate too much Thanksgiving Dinner jiggle”…your stomach actually feels (and looks) like Jello.  Not the little mini to-go cups of Jello; I’m talking a whole bundt cake of Jello. 

Advice? Do not touch it, do not look at it.  It will eventually go away so just ignore it; it’s not the true you. 

Also, buy this: 

2. Night Sweats. You sweat for weeks after you give birth.  I am talking a t-shirt change twice in any given night because you’ve soaked through it sweating  It’s normal but no one told me about it.  I thought I was dying. 

Advice? Keep a t-shirt change next to the bed and wash your face first thing in the morning.

3. Sadness. You are sad.  Really, really sad.  And it’s okay to be.  These are not your true feelings; it is 100% chemical.  The problem comes when everyone around you is so happy; you feel like you ought to be too. 

I like to take the opportunity to tell every new mom that this is normal and okay every chance I’m given.  People only talk about how amazing it is to have children because a.) IT IS and b.) they forget about the first couple of weeks.

Whenever a friend has a new baby I vow never to say the following: “Isn’t it the best!?” “Aren’t you so happy?”  Because more often than not it isn’t and you aren’t.  Not yet.  If this happens to you I promise it will get better.  Amazingly better. 

Advice? Hang in there. 

4. Exhaustion.  People always told me “prepare to never sleep again.”  I  never believed them.  I went into it so cocky thinking that other babies don’t sleep but mine sure will.  They don’t.  And you run into people all of the time that say “

MY

baby slept 12 hours at a time at 8 weeks old, no problem.”  I want to hurt these people.  I had a mommy friend that told me this once.  She followed that up by saying “Yea, it’s great, I only feed him at 11pm and 2am!.”  Um, sorry girlfriend, that is not a stretch of 12 hours.

Advice? Nap when your baby naps whenever you can.

  (PS: I never followed this advice; wish I had.)

5.  Delivery.  I’m talking about the pushing and the breathing and the contractions, and the….you get it.  I was told the following several times by several people: “You do yoga?  You’ll be fine!”  “It’s no problem because you are in great shape!”  So of course I went in there thinking I’d give birth within the hour and probably wouldn’t feel a thing.  Especially because I was a huge fan of my now new best friend called Mr. Epidural. 

Reality Check #1:

  Little Miss took 21 hours to deliver (2 hours of actual pushing).  Every time the Doctor came in and said I’ll check back in 5 or 6 hours my heart sunk.  I could not believe I was still laying there with no baby after hour THREE.

Reality Check #2:

The epidural numbness is only effective down to your spine which covers contractions but not so much the birth part.

Advice?

Go into the delivery room expecting to give birth to a MACK truck out of your butt and let’s hope you are pleasantly surprised. 

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