I am being paid back for all of the years I never slept as a child and let me tell ya, pay back’s a bitch.
Here’s a little sample of Little Miss P’s sleep timeline:
0-2 Months: The Dance
I swear she is teasing me. I put her in her crib after nursing and she falls asleep immediately. I stagger over to the guest bed and lay down eager to clock the 2 hours of sleep before the next feeding. Right as I drift off her eyes pop open. Most mornings we are so exhausted from this song and dance that I resort to bringing her into bed with me. Hubby finds this amusing and snaps the following picture he entitles: THE AFTERMATH
2-4 months: Goats & Pigs
I embrace the swaddle I initially fought so hard against. God Forbid I ever hinder my babies freedom or imagination. If she wants her arms straight up in the air while she sleeps than darn it I wouldn’t be the one to stop her! And then I get over myself. I’m swaddling the crap out of her and it works. But now she is making weird farm animal noises all night and I still don’t sleep.
4-6 months: The Michelin Man
She keeps kicking out of her swaddle. Do you know how hard it is to re-swaddle when you are half awake at 3am? I need something else, she won’t sleep without it. Enter the most amazing baby product ever invented since the teething biscuit: Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleep Suit. The suit makes her feel swaddled but allows her arms and legs to be free. Thank you, Merlin. I wake up in a panic because she actually
sleeping more than 4 hours. Oh, Irony.
6-9 months: Practice, Practice, Practice
What’s that P? You can roll over and crawl and talk to yourself now so why waste time sleeping? Right. Got it. Back to Square One. She is so tired after an hour of practicing said new skills that I find her sitting up in the crib, head against the bumper, passed out. That’s right…my baby now sleeps sitting up.
Stay tuned for TALES FROM THE CRIB Part II. I am hoping it involves less under-eye cream.
Other Tips To Try Getting Your Anti-Sleep Baby To Sleep:
1. Use white noise, I liked this machine:
3. Roll up two soft blankets and lay them on either side of your baby (only if they are swaddled and can’t get tangled in them) These are the best:
4. Introduce a “Lovee.” Even if they look at you like your crazy in the beginning, have it around during calm-down time. They will eventually get that it signals rest.
5. Get an exercise ball. Hold your swaddled baby and bounce up and down gently on the ball. Works as well as the car and saves you the gas.