Did I mention we bought a yoga studio? So exciting, right? I was there today doing some odd jobs and thinking it was the perfect place for Little Miss P to explore. I mean it’s one big room what could go wrong?
I was taking down a bulletin board in the front desk area and I noticed she was at my feet. I looked down and saw that she was making these weird chewing noises and coughing. My heart sunk. I convinced myself a tack fell off the bulletin board onto the floor and it was now wreaking havoc on my poor baby’s esophagus. Total panic sets in. I reach into her mouth and dig around. She starts to bawl. I throw her in the car seat and rush her to Mass General. She’s happy as a clam by the time I get there but all I can see in my mind is a metal thumb tack poking tiny holes in her stomach lining. I want to throw up. They take her vitals and I’m trying to keep it together. Hubby shows up and I lose it. I’m the worst mother of all time; I let my baby swallow a push pin for Christ’s sake. One hour later they are taking an X-Ray of her chest. P is obsessed with the machine and loving every minute of it. The Resident and the Attending come in 30 minutes after that and I can’t help but sense they are hiding smiles. The Attending says to me “so you let your baby hang out with razor blades and thumb tacks, huh?” My heart sinks for the second time. She is kidding. She holds my head in her hands and assures me everything is okay, nothing was picked up on the X-Ray, and not to worry. I want to hug her and take her out for a beer. But instead I thank her and we head home. Nice little Friday.
Meanwhile, my husband says to me:
“You’ve got some weird stuff going on in your brain. There’s like this little man in the back of your head whispering things and pulling strings. I probably have a little man in the back of my head too but at least I beat the shit of him. You just let yours run free.”