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TALES FROM THE CAR: Please Insert Prozac

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Little Miss does not like to be strapped in a carseat and driven around.  In order to calm her down and actually get anything done I turn on her favorite music.  At the moment that happens to be 4 CD’s of sung Nursery Rhythms on rotation.  Have you ever really listened to the words in Nursery Rhythms?  Lately I’ve been analyzing the lyrics because I’m just that bored with them.  It turns out they are mostly gruesome, depressing, or sexist.

Take your basic Jack and Jill.  I never knew the second half to it.  Jack has to wrap his head in vinegar and brown paper after falling down a hill.  Can you imagine having to wrap your head in vinegar?  Ew.  Little Bo Peep lost her sheep and then found them but all of their tails had been cut off!  And the sicko that did it then hung them up to dry just to throw it in her face.  Speaking of losing tails, not only were the Three Blind Mice

blind

but in a shitty twist of fate for them the farmer’s wife chops off

their

tails.  Now they are blind AND tail-less?  That’s no life for a mouse.  All Old Mother Hubbard’s dog wants is a bone but the cupboard is bare and we never do find out if he gets one.  Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater just pisses me off.  He had a wife but couldn’t keep her so he puts her in a pumpkin shell?  Come on.

Poor Jack Be Nimble practically gets his balls burned jumping over a candle.  Don’t even get me started about Rock A Bye Baby.  The dish in Hey Diddle Diddle is a thief, Humpty Dumpty will never be the same, Mary’s lamb is a stalker, Georgie Porgie was a player, and Little Miss Muffet can’t get a decent meal.

This rare gem takes the cake though:

Goosey Goosey Gander where shall I wander, Upstairs, downstairs and in my lady’s chamber There I met an old man who wouldn’t say his prayers,I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs

.  How’s that for the good old Christian way. 

So now I know why I feel like I need to pop Prozac every time I get out of the car.

PS: There is one kids CD I am loving and it’s Sesame Street’s “All Time Favorites.”

Sesame Street CD Link

There are some real oldie but goodies on there:”C is for Cookie,” “Rubber Duckie,” and “People In Your Neighborhood” to name a few.  They bring me right back to my parent’s four poster bed with a tray of breakfast and a glass of milk (but I never realized how

Emo

Kermit was).  The other day hubby and I went out for a glass of wine sans Little Miss P.  Driving home Grover’s song “Monster in the Mirror” came on.  Windows down, we cranked it up, screaming at the top of our lungs: “WOBBA WOBBA WOBBA AND A DOODLY DOO.”  The guys next to us in the Chevy waiting for the light were less than impressed. 

 Try

not

singing this for the rest of the week, I dare you…

Monster In The Mirror Track

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