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Mommyhood

SELFLESS TALES: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU ANYMORE

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I have a friend that is nervous about getting pregnant because she still has her own issues to work through.  I told her that’s the perfect time to get pregnant because once the baby comes she won’t even have time to think about them.  Like most people, before having a baby I was completely self-consumed.  It was all about me.  But not anymore.  I was shopping with my mother recently, helping her look for a Mother Of The Bride’s dress for daughter number three.  I watched as the sales woman in Neiman Marcus doted on her for hours.  And the whole time I thought to myself, my God does she deserve  this.  Now that her kids are grown up she finally has “me-time” after giving up so much of herself to raise daughters.  It made me think of the things that have changed in my life just after a short two years…

  • I used to consider it a successful day when I sailed through a presentation, answered all 75 emails, and got at least 60 minutes in at the gym.  But these days I measure success in different ways.  If I look down at my hands before bed and see marker residue and a left-over Dora sticker I consider it a win.  (Even if the reason my hands are dirty is because I didn’t get to shower that day.)
  •  I used to love reading gossip magazines while taking a long steamy bubble
    bath.  Now I read “The Happiest Toddler On The Block” on the rare occasion I
    get to take a crap alone.   
  •  I used to manage my meals.  I planned my breakfast every night before work.  I made sure to pack healthy snacks like cut-up apples and nuts in plastic bags for the car ride.  I always knew where my lunch was coming from and took pride in cooking lavish meals for Hubby and I at night.  I hate to sit and it gave me something to do when I got home, plus it was a nice excuse to drink wine.  But now this attention to food management has entirely shifted to the needs of Little Miss.  I practically kill myself to make sure she’s getting the right roods during the day.  And some days that feels like a full time job.  Meanwhile this has wrecked havoc on my diet.  Today for example I had the 3 blueberries that fell out of her bib, a half an apple because she wanted to share it with me, 5 bites of left-over whole wheat organic Mac & Cheese (which she insisted on feeding to me) and an uneaten half of a veggie burger post night-time routine.  
  • I used to spend money on me, but now it all goes to Miss P.  New clothes, toys, and shoes every week.  I just can’t stop myself.  Diapers.com doesn’t help my situation.  They make it way too easy to shop from my couch along with free shipping.  There’s a new box on our doorstep practically daily.  I’ve considered inviting the UPS guy in for coffee.  At the mall with mom, I passed right by Banana Republic and spent a half an hour at the Baby Gap instead.   
  • I used to be really good about getting enough sleep.  I would aim for 7 hours, every night.  But now I can never remember how many hours I got because I’m usually up wondering if Miss P. is getting her adequate shut-eye.  The focus has completely shifted.  I’ve been this way since she was born.  I’ve been called the Nap Nazi and I deserve it.   

Hubby loves to quote movies and TV shows.  When we first started dating I thought he was witty.  But than as he eventually made me suffer through some of his favorites, I began to realize that his clever remarks were all stolen lines.  I was the first one to tell him that I loved him.  He answered me with:  “Wow. That’s a BIG Matzo ball to put out there…” (hand cupping the air).  Any diehards out there will know that is a quote taken directly from Seinfeld; a fact that I did not know at the time.  I just thought he was a weirdo and (thankfully) too drunk to remember the conversation the next day.

Anyway, one of his favorite lines is from The Girl Next Door, when the nice kid is explaining moral fiber after scoring the porn star (if you haven’t seen the movie don’t ask).  The “Juice was Worth the Squeeze” he says.  And that’s  how I feel here.  This post is not a complaint but an observation.  When I put in my all, my 100%; I get 200 back from Miss P.  The juice is absolutely worth the squeeze.  I look forward to one day shopping with her, when she’s a new mom herself.  I’ll be enjoying the luxury of time and smiling just a little when I see her walk past the J.Crew into a Baby Gap.

Got more? 

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