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TALES FROM THE TOASTER: An Inside Look At A Toddler’s Breakfast

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Mom: “What would you like for breakfast, honey pie?”

Toddler: “I want a waffle.”

Mom: “Ok. One waffle comin’ right up.”

Toddler: “No not one waffle Mommy, I want TWO waffles.”

Mom: “No problem, two waffles.” Leaves freezer with two waffles and heads to toaster.

Toddler: “No, No, No! Don’t COOK it Mommy!”

Mom: “Honey, we have to cook them. They are frozen and they will hurt your teeth.”

Toddler: “Oh. Okay. But not too hot.”

Mom: “Waffles are done!” Puts them on a plate featuring Thomas.

Toddler: “Not that plate Mommy. ¬†THIS plate.”¬†Points to a plate featuring Dora.

Toddler: “Wait! Mommy! ¬†I need CREAM CHEESE on it.”

Mom: “Cream Cheese? On your waffle? How about peanut butter instead?”

Toddler: “Cream Cheese AND Peanut Butter.”

Mom: “Okay fine cream cheese AND peanut butter.” Proceeds to put cream cheese on one waffle and peanut butter on the other. ¬†“There you go!”

Toddler: “Nooooooo. ¬†I want cream cheese on this half and peanut butter on THAT half on this waffle. Then the other.”

Mom: “Honey. ¬†Can we just put them together, like a sandwich, and it will taste exactly the same?”

Toddler: “No. ¬†Not together.¬† Peanut butter here and cream cheese there.”

Mom: {Heavy Sigh} ¬†“Ok, I will cover up one half of one waffle with peanut butter on the cream cheese side and I’ll cover up the other half of one waffle with cream cheese on the peanut butter side.”

Toddler: Watches intently.
Mom: Hands plate of heavy waffles to toddler.

Toddler: “I’d like it like a sandwich please.”

Mom: Puts one waffle on top of the other waffle.  Hands plate back to toddler.

Toddler: Sits.  Picks up waffle sandwich.

Waffle sandwich crumbles under extreme pressure of  creamy spread.

 

Toddler: “Mommy?¬†These waffles are broken. ¬†Can I have two eggs?”

Thud.

 

-MIM-

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